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by Abigail Van Buren

Effort to Help Co-Worker Nearly Ends Friendship

DEAR ABBY: I tried to help out a friend who had damage to her truck. I took it upon myself without her knowledge to take pictures of her damaged truck. I thought it would help her in getting estimates on her vehicle.

Her truck was parked outside her son's residence, and he came out immediately when he saw me from his window. I didn't explain what I had done for reasons I would rather not say, but I planned to tell my co-worker at a later date. When I saw her at work the next day, she was furious about what I had done, and it almost destroyed our friendship.

Was I wrong in doing her a favor, or out-of-line? Was it inappropriate? I didn't want to jeopardize our friendship; I was only trying to help. Any suggestions? -- CONCERNED IN TEXAS

DEAR CONCERNED: I'm trying to understand why you didn't volunteer to photograph the damage to your co-worker's truck so she could get estimates on the cost of repairs. I am also in the dark about why you wouldn't explain what you were doing when her son came outside and, I assume, asked what you were doing. Transparency would have been better than secrecy, and I hope you will carry this suggestion into the future.

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