Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Years Spent Apart Stretch Marriage to Breaking Point

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband for 12 years. He retired from the Army before I met him, and I currently serve, stationed overseas.

When we first met, I thought we had an understanding that because he didn't have to work, he would follow me and my three children wherever the military takes us. He doesn't like to get "tied down," and I don't do too well with long-distance relationships. He developed a love for golf, which takes him touring all over the world.

Now that it's just the two of us and the children are grown, I thought we would never be apart. Well, we've been apart for the four years that I've been stationed away from him, and I am tired of it. He's a good man but set in his ways. I have another 10 years before I retire, and I don't want to waste the best years of my life being lonely.

We haven't slept together in seven months, and even when he visits, we are not on the same emotional level. I plan to divorce him, which I have alluded to twice before, and now is my chance to follow through. Should I? -- SERIOUSLY DEBATING

DEAR DEBATING: Because you are unwilling to accept the way your husband is, and he is unwilling to spend time working on your marriage, you should follow through. Contact an attorney and get the process started.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce | Sex