DEAR ABBY: My parents have been together for more than three decades, but their marriage has been strained for years. Still, they won't pull the plug and call it quits. It's making us kids (all in our 20s and out of the house) and our extended family confused and frustrated.
They still live under one roof, although they spend all of their time in separate parts of the house and communicate only through us kids. They're clearly miserable, but if any of us tries to speak to them about their toxic dynamic, each one blames the other.
Abby, I adore both of my parents, but they're becoming shells of themselves. I know it's not my business to step in, but something has to change. I can't handle another tense holiday visit. What should I do? -- CONCERNED IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR CONCERNED: You and your siblings should sit down with your parents and tell them the effect their toxic dynamic has had on you as a family. All of you should urge them to seek counseling from a licensed marriage and family therapist. Then cross your fingers and hope they are willing to follow through. However, if they aren't and you can't handle another tense holiday visit, I recommend you make other plans and tell them why.