DEAR ABBY: My mother likes to tell people where to sit at every family gathering. It can be anywhere, including at a restaurant or even at my aunt's house. It's annoying and feels disrespectful.
I'm 49, and my girls are in their early 20s. I try to be patient, but she doesn't consider health conditions or if someone is left-handed.
My older daughter was severely traumatized by a former neighbor and doesn't do well with strangers. A few years ago, my cousin's boyfriend came, and my mother ordered my daughter to sit next to him. It was horrible for my daughter. We tried one more time last year at a restaurant, and it was the same. Since then, we have skipped family gatherings. I don't know why she feels she has to tell us what to do. Please help. -- PUSHED AROUND IN KENTUCKY
DEAR PUSHED: Have you talked to your mother about this? She may, for whatever reason, need to feel she is in control. If she isn't hosting the gathering, this may be her way of maintaining dominance in her relationship with her sister, her children and grandchildren.
I'm not sure you can change your mother, but please don't cut yourself off from the rest of your family. If you aren't seeing them individually, please consider it.