DEAR ABBY: At age 17, my pregnant and unwed mother married a schoolmate of my biological father. I was given the schoolmate's last name. Several years later, my mother divorced her first husband and married my biological father. They discussed changing my last name to that of my bio father, but never did. I recently had DNA testing that proved this information to be accurate.
My last name is still not the name of my biological father, and I recently learned that the man named on my birth certificate was a rapist, an alcoholic and a bully. This is very upsetting, and I would like to legally change my name to match my actual father's. The problem is I'm now 70, married with wonderful kids and grandkids who are proud of our name. I don't want the fake daddy's name on my tombstone. Any advice for this distressed guy? -- DISTRESSED SENIOR MAN
DEAR DISTRESSED: Talk to your family about why you want the name change. Perhaps when they hear that the person whose name was thrust upon you was a rapist and substance abusing bully who mistreated your mother, they will be more understanding and less willing to cling to the name they are so "proud" of. If not, then suit yourself. I wish you luck.