DEAR ABBY: I was a girl, then a young lady, next a mother and now a grandmother. I was never a "guy" until the last 10 years, when waitstaff and salespersons began calling me that when I am with my husband. Examples: "How are you guys tonight?" and "What can I get you guys?" I am not, nor have I ever been a "guy." Other than baring my breasts, how do I let people know that I am not a guy and wish to be addressed otherwise? -- CALL ME MA'AM IN FLORIDA
DEAR CALL ME: The servers and sales staff are not intending this as a personal affront. Using the word "guys" to refer to a couple or a group is becoming so common it's now in Webster's dictionary. However, this is a complaint voiced by many of my readers of a certain age, along with not enjoying being addressed as "Sweetie" or "Young Lady."
If it bothered me as much as it does you, I would quietly take it up with the manager or supervisor, and suggest that because it is annoying, "Sir" and "Ma'am" would be a more suitable substitute for "you guys." You might also prefer to dine in a less casual restaurant or shop in a more exclusive store to see if you are addressed differently.