DEAR ABBY: My mother has no faith in me, mostly because I have a disability. Even though it's not that bad, she still doesn't think I can do anything hard. Although I'm almost 40, she still tells me what to do and criticizes me in any way she can, including my parenting. I can't spend a day with her without wanting to come home and take a bat to the walls.
I have a lot of anger inside, and I don't trust her because she tends to tell her friends or family things I would rather were kept private. What can I do about this? -- IRRITATED IN ILLINOIS
DEAR IRRITATED: If this is any comfort, I receive letters with the same complaint as yours from readers who don't have disabilities. If your children are healthy and doing well and your mother's criticisms are baseless, my advice is to tune your probably well-meaning but overbearing mother out. Because she discusses things you confide in her with others, quit telling her anything you don't want broadcast. It's easier than trying to muzzle her. You might also consider seeing your mother less often, which could save your walls and the wear and tear on the bat you're tempted to use after those encounters.