DEAR ABBY: I feel like I do better on my own. I don't want kids, I don't want a husband, and I don't want commitment. I have accepted that I'm better by myself, but my mother, who is religious, is still convinced that I will want a kid one day. She feels she "knows" this, even though I have told her many times that I wouldn't be able to handle a husband or children. I have done my best to grin and bear it, but I feel guilty for disappointing her by not fulfilling her fantasy about my having a breadwinner husband and being a trophy wife with perfect kids.
It's not that she won't get to be a grandmother. She already is, but my sister isn't perfect, and I don't like that Mom wishes me to be what the rest of my siblings couldn't be. Also I can tell the idea of my being bisexual makes her queasy. She is still in denial.
What can I do when she says things like she can't wait until I have a husband or a kid of my own, or when she makes the same irritating face whenever anything about anyone's sexual orientation is mentioned? -- LIKES IT SOLO IN TEXAS
DEAR LIKES IT: Because you have told your mother repeatedly that marriage and parenthood aren't what you want, when she brings it up, change the subject. Do not allow her to make you feel guilty for wanting to live your life the way you see fit. It is your life, not hers, and you were not put on this earth to fulfill her fantasy or make up for your sister's deficits.