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by Abigail Van Buren

Cross-Country Relationship Is Kept a Secret From Mom

DEAR ABBY: I'm in high school. My boyfriend lives across the country in a different state. He is a teenager, too. I have asked people for advice about this before and mostly gotten the same answer. They say, "Wait 'til you're older," or, "Your mom is just looking out for you." I don't believe it.

So I'm asking for advice on how to tell my mom that I'm in a long-distance relationship, and I would like to meet him in person. We met on a game about a year and a half ago. We've dated twice before for about a month or two. But now we have been dating for almost five months.

When I told my mom about him, she didn't like him. She doesn't even know him! How can I convince her that he's a good person and she just has to get to know him so she'll let me see him? I'm afraid to tell her because the idea makes me nervous. She refuses to understand that he is good to me, and he loves me and I love him. Although we're only teenagers, we have talked about forever. Do you have any advice for me? -- STRUGGLING IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR STRUGGLING: Yes, I do, and I hope you will take to heart what I am about to say because I am not patronizing you. Look at this from your mother's perspective. This young man is someone she has never met in person and neither have you. Yes, you have been talking, but there is no guarantee that he is everything he has represented himself to be in those conversations.

It is a mother's job to protect her child. There is truth to the statement that she is "just looking out for you." I believe the feelings you have for this young man are valid, but I also feel that if he lived close by and your mother could meet him, things might be different.

For the time being, continue communicating with him and perhaps a more serious relationship will develop. However, consider this: What would you do if you finally found yourself in the same room with him and the chemistry wasn't what you expected it would be? This has been known to happen. (Trust me on that!) Time will tell if this is the real thing.

Read more in: Teens | Love & Dating