DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have about a dozen nieces and nephews on each side of our family. As each of them has married, we have given them generous gifts.
My wife and I have two adult children. When our daughter was married 10 years ago, she had a big reception, with all the best of everything. Our son chose to elope last year. He had a small ceremony when they returned -- just parents and grandparents.
My wife is now very upset that no one has acknowledged the wedding with even a card -- let alone a gift. Should we bring this up to our families? Is it customary to give gifts only when there is a traditional ceremony and reception? -- EMPTY-HANDED IN ILLINOIS
DEAR EMPTY-HANDED: I can see why your wife is upset. Because you have been so generous with your family members when they were married, it would have been thoughtful had they reciprocated with your son. However, the rule of etiquette is that gifts are required when someone accepts a wedding invitation, and your son chose to elope instead of having one, which may explain the lack of response from your relatives.