DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a girl since high school. We were high school sweethearts, but now we are both 28. My girlfriend wants to get married and have kids, but I do not. I want to keep dating her. I am scared to break up with her because if I did, I wouldn't know what to do with my life. Should I change, or should she change? -- STATUS QUO IN COLORADO
DEAR STATUS QUO: I hereby appoint you to be the designated changer. You have been so absorbed with this romance you never took the time to develop interests of your own.
At the age of 28, many women start thinking about marriage and children. Doing that is normal and rational. However, because you don't feel ready to make a lifetime commitment, you would be making a huge mistake to allow yourself to be pushed into it.
It is important that you learn who you are before you marry anyone. Accomplishing this is a process that takes time and a variety of experiences, and you should embark on that now. It would be unfair to continue dating her at this point because your paths are going to diverge as each of you learns to manage without leaning on the other.