DEAR ABBY: My fiance, "Jay," has a 14-year-old daughter who has been home-schooling during the quarantine, and she refuses to put pants on. When we ask her to, she gets upset. She isn't built like the average teenager. Abby, she's 5'10" and weighs 200 pounds, so it's like seeing a grown woman in her underwear.
I think it's inappropriate for a young woman her age to be unwilling to dress herself fully, and I don't like seeing her like that every time I go to their house. Jay doesn't notice. He says it doesn't bother him, and he doesn't mind when I ask her to put shorts on. I don't feel it's my place at this point to dictate what she wears, but I'm uncomfortable. I don't know if I'm crossing a line or if it's normal to feel this way. Help! -- DIDN'T THINK I WAS A PRUDE
DEAR DIDN'T: Your fiance is OK with his daughter's attire in their home. If your engagement to Jay leads to marriage, you will be living there permanently, so your opinion should be respected. Someone has to have "the talk" with your fiance's daughter about the fact she's no longer a child; she has become a young woman. The person to do that is her father. The message would be better coming from him because you're not her parent, and it may help you avoid being perceived as the "wicked stepmother-to-be."