DEAR ABBY: My son has been married three times. After each divorce, he has expected me to distance myself from the ex's children. I have been Grandma to them, and this is driving us apart. My son says it's them or him! I'm heartbroken and want to maintain a relationship with both. Help! -- FOREVER GRANDMA
DEAR GRANDMA: That your son would deny his stepchildren contact with a loving grandmother because he's angry with their mother is terrible. You may wish to maintain a relationship with them, but because of your son's current mindset, it may not be possible.
Since you asked me to weigh in, my advice is to stop sitting on the fence. Maintain a relationship with them regardless of their "step" status. They need you. They need the validation that they are loved, which you can provide. As to your inflexible son, I can see why he has such terrible luck with women. It appears he still has a lot of growing up to do.