DEAR ABBY: How can I converse with my parents who cannot and will not keep their political opinions to themselves? They literally cannot have a conversation of more than a few minutes that doesn't spiral into a litany of complaints about the government. I end every conversation angry, either at myself for not speaking up or at them for not shutting up.
It does no good to ask them not to discuss politics. They say they'll discuss what they want in their own home or remind me that -- when I was the one who initiated the call -- I'm the one who can end it if I don't like what I'm hearing. Heaven forbid anyone disagree with their opinions. They have cut off family and friends for decades over differences of opinion.
I suggested they volunteer in their political community in hopes of redirecting their obsessions into something positive, but they refuse. I'm at a loss. I no longer hope for a relationship with them. I need tips on how to speak to them with grace. -- TURNED OFF IN TENNESSEE
DEAR TURNED OFF: If what your parents do all day is listen to political talk shows, it may account for their "obsession."
When you call them, keep a list close by of things you want to tell them. Ask if they need anything you can provide, how they are doing healthwise, how they are managing with the social disruption that has taken place. Tell them how you are, what you have been doing and what you might have heard about family members or friends they know. Then, if the conversation veers into a political polemic, do as they have suggested. Make an excuse to end the conversation before it turns ugly.