DEAR ABBY: In the future when I am able, I would like to travel with a mix of single and married ladies. I'm in a committed relationship, and when I discussed this with my partner, we had a difference of opinion.
She believes that happy individuals in committed relationships do not travel with other people. She believes happy couples should travel together and not independently. Is that controlling? I have traveled independently in prior committed relationships, and this has never been an issue.
Should I honor her request or deny it? She is pushing me to respect this rule and says it applies to her as well because she believes "females" let loose when they are away from their significant others. I get the distinct feeling that if I travel independently, there will be an emotional price to pay, or she will do something in my absence that will change the dynamics of our relationship. -- LOVE OR CONTROL
DEAR LOVE: There are already issues that will change the dynamics of your relationship -- your partner's insecurity and need to control, and your need for some freedom. Unless you are laying down "rules" for her to follow as she is trying to do to you, step back and take a second look at this relationship. Healthy people who love each other want their partner to be happy and fulfilled whether they are together or apart. This takes trust, self-confidence and courage. Rather than the wind beneath your wings, it appears your partner may be more of an anchor.