DEAR ABBY: I just turned 51 and have been diagnosed with cancer for the second time. Why is it that when I tell someone I have cancer, their first response is to tell me about every person in their life who has had cancer and all the gloomy stories? One family member actually pulled out pictures to show me her SIL's hair growing back. Why do they think this is an appropriate response? It's the last thing I want to hear.
It is difficult to remain positive, and I struggle with letting people in. The more this happens, the more I shut down. Your thoughts? -- TRYING IN SALEM, MASS.
DEAR TRYING: It might help to remind yourself that these individuals may be trying to show you they identify with what you and their relatives have experienced. The family member who showed you that picture may have thought she was being encouraging by showing you a positive outcome -- that after chemo, your hair may grow back.
If someone starts a conversation along these lines, it is perfectly acceptable to tell the person you would rather not discuss the subject right now -- or ever. Please don't allow the fact that some people are inappropriate to isolate you. As I am sure you are aware, there are cancer support groups in which you can receive emotional support. If you need to find one, visit cancer.org.