DEAR ABBY: I need your advice about a problem I'm facing with a man I've been dating almost four years. When I met "Jeff," he had two older Yorkshire terriers. Both were very territorial and relieved themselves in the house. I told him I was concerned about moving in with him because of his out-of-control dogs, and he understood. They were older dogs, and I knew one day they would pass, so I waited patiently.
Then Jeff's neighbor passed away, leaving a dog. He adopted that dog, and it has become a bigger issue than the first two. The new dog is very aggressive. It tries to bite me and won't let me into certain rooms in the house! I expressed my concern to Jeff, but nothing has been done.
We are currently engaged but living separately. I told Jeff that we need to live together before getting married, so I gave him an ultimatum -- try to find a home for the new dog and I'll move in.
That was two years ago, and nothing has been done. At this point, I suspect that he adopted the third dog without me knowing in order to prevent me from moving in. I feel like he chose the new dog over me! What do I do? -- OVERLOOKED HUMAN IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR OVERLOOKED HUMAN: Listen to your intuition and accept that where you are concerned, Jeff has a commitment problem. If he wanted you to live with him, he would not have taken in an aggressive animal. Without saying it in words, he is sending you a strong message. From where I sit, you may have devoted enough time to a romance that's going nowhere. Give Jeff a choice: Kennel train the dog or the romance is over.