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by Abigail Van Buren

Man's Serious Health Issues Dominate 40-Year Marriage

DEAR ABBY: I married my husband 40 years ago. A few years later, he was diagnosed with diabetes. He refused to take care of himself and ended up with double leg amputations 13 years ago. He had prosthetics but wouldn't use them. I stood by him and was his advocate, but he blamed me!

He has major health issues now, but I'm not too concerned. According to him, it's "none of my business." Family doesn't care because he doesn't care. My daughter blames me, but she doesn't bother to have much contact with her father.

I have had enough of trying to help a man who doesn't want help. This is a loveless marriage and has been for years. He's also addicted to computer porn. He stays at a computer for hours, even when people are around. He doesn't care who's around. He broke his computer recently, and I have refused to allow him on mine, so he is angry at me for that too.

For most of our marriage I have worked outside the home. I still do. I would rather be out of the house than here with a husband who doesn't care if I'm around or not. Please advise me what I can do. -- REACHED THE LIMIT

DEAR REACHED: What you can do depends upon what you want to do. There must be a reason why you have remained in this loveless marriage as long as you have.

Since you asked, I do have a word of advice. Help your husband to get another computer. If you do, it may lessen some of the hostility that is ruling your household. He will be occupied, and you can do whatever you need to do to keep yourself sane.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce | Health & Safety