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by Abigail Van Buren

Wife Dreams of Wedding She Never Had

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I married 20 years ago. He never proposed; he just came home one day from boot camp and said, "We need to get married tomorrow so that I can get paid more," and we did. I regret that day. It wasn't what I wanted, and it meant nothing to me.

Since then, so much has happened. He cheated on me while he was in the service, and had PTSD to the point where he tried to kill himself, among other things.

We are now in a happy place and have two awesome kids. I would like to redo our wedding day and for him to propose to me. The problem is, he isn't ready. He said he hasn't done it because we have had more lows than highs. He said he will eventually, when he feels the time is right.

My feelings are hurt, and now I'm questioning why I am still here. I have stuck by his side for 20 years, through thick and thin. I deserve that and much more. I'm not asking for anything over the top. Do you think I'm overreacting, or should I finally move on? -- TIRED OF WAITING IN TEXAS

DEAR TIRED: I don't think you are overreacting; I think you are over-orchestrating. You say you and your husband are in a happy place now after years of struggle, plus you have two awesome kids. Now is not the time to upset the apple cart. More important than redoing his proposal and your wedding day is devoting some time to working on communicating more effectively with each other.

Read more in: Holidays & Celebrations | Marriage & Divorce | Mental Health