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by Abigail Van Buren

Family Is Fractured by Drama Among Sisters

DEAR ABBY: I have three sisters. We are all in our 50s and 60s. Three of us get along great and always have, but we have all had issues with our oldest sister, "Lulu." She has gotten angry at us for many different reasons.

When our father was terminally ill, she wanted one of us to live with him in his home even though we thought it was enough that we were in the same small town and went over there daily. Also, Lulu is a widow and not financially secure, and she feels we have not helped her out enough. There have been times we have gotten along wonderfully, but sadly, it always ends in drama.

I miss her regardless of the drama, but she seems to have written us off. She is convinced that she is right, and we are bad for her. Must I learn to accept this and move on? Or should I try to make it right? My youngest sister wants nothing to do with her. She says Lulu is bad for her mental health. Can you help me to finally resolve this one way or the other? -- DYSFUNCTIONAL IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR DYSFUNCTIONAL: You are not responsible for Lulu's financial woes. Let her know you are there for her, but cannot help support her financially. I'm sorry you didn't mention whether she has a job. If she doesn't, she needs to find one to supplement her income. Unless you are willing to cave to emotional blackmail and supplement your sister's income for the rest of her life (or yours), accept that it may be time to move on.

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