DEAR ABBY: My 53-year-old brother had an affair eight years ago. He and his wife have four children. When he told his wife about it, they started sleeping in separate bedrooms. She stays with him for the kids' sake and for financial reasons.
The other woman, "Rachael," recently contacted him saying she has cancer and has no family who want to take care of her. He put her up in his cabin in the mountains and hasn't told his wife. He asked what I thought, and honestly, I feel that although I am sad for Rachael, my brother should put his wife before his concern for this other woman. I'm angry with him for what he's doing to his wife. What should he do? -- DISAGREEING IN THE SOUTH
DEAR DISAGREEING: I assume that when your brother confided what he has been doing, you gave him your thoughts on it. If you didn't, you should.
I find it telling that the person asking me what he should do is you and not him. Rather than try to run interference for him, recognize the ball is in his court, and he has to decide for himself what he should -- or should not -- do, because he is playing a very dangerous game.