DEAR ABBY: My husband is terminally ill with cancer and hasn't long to live. I would like to ask friends that, in lieu of flowers, they make donations to a scholarship fund for three very precious granddaughters who have spent most every day of their young lives with him. They are 10, 8 and 5. He has been their caregiver.
However, we have other grandchildren who are grown and have graduated from college, and great-grandchildren who are the same ages as these three granddaughters. I am afraid of offending these grandchildren by not including their children. Is asking for a memorial donation tacky of me to ensure these three granddaughters who have been so close to him are provided for? -- PROVIDED FOR IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR PROVIDED: Your adult, college-educated grandchildren should be able to provide for their children without help from you. I assume there is a reason your husband has been the caregiver for the grandchildren whose future you are concerned about. If you and your husband would like to request that friends skip the flowers and contribute to a college fund for them, it's your privilege. And if you get flak for it, you should explain the reason why.