DEAR ABBY: I was raised in a very strict household. At 19, I left home and never looked back. Today, I am 54, divorced and own my own home.
My mother passed away, and my father moved in with me a few months ago because he didn't like living alone. I have had to make several adjustments to accommodate him.
The problem is, he's extremely traditional and refuses to change his way of thinking where I am concerned. In his eyes, I am still his child, and I should respect and abide by his rules.
I have a boyfriend who lives several miles away. When he visits, I would like him to spend the night with me in my room. My dad insists (demands) that my boyfriend sleep on the couch or in the guest bedroom. He has informed me that it is my choice, but if I don't abide by his wishes (demands), he will refuse to talk with my boyfriend, which undoubtedly will cause stress in my relationship.
I have told my father that I am a grown woman and that I refuse to give up my freedom to accommodate him in this area. After all, this is my home. How should I handle this? -- ALL GROWN UP IN ARKANSAS
DEAR ALL GROWN: If you knuckle under to Dear Old Dad's demands, you are making a big mistake. Sit him down, "remind" him that you are no longer a little girl and if he cannot accept that you are an adult with needs of your own and be respectful to your boyfriend, he will no longer be welcome to live under your roof. Do not try to placate him or you will be living the rest of your father's life in a second childhood, and it won't be a happy one.