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by Abigail Van Buren

Gentleman Is Stymied in Search for the Right Woman

DEAR ABBY: I am 49. I have never married or had kids, and I am having a hard time finding the right woman for me. I have tried dating sites, dances, etc., and it seems like women are not interested in a gentleman anymore. I am about to give up on women because I don't know what else to do. They like the bad-boy type, and I'm not one of them.

I should mention that 25 years ago I thought I had found the right one, but I caught her cheating on me. Now women reject me. They always have an excuse. They say either, "You are not my type" or, "I just want to be friends." Can you help me? -- LONELY IN ARIZONA

DEAR LONELY: I'll try. When a woman tells you you're not her type or she just wants to be friends, what she's trying to politely convey is that the romantic chemistry is wrong. Having never met you, I can't guess why that might be. Perhaps some of your close friends or family members could tell you if you need an image makeover.

I will, however, offer this: Younger women are usually the ones who are attracted to the "excitement" (stress) that bad boys provide in abundance. Older ones would welcome a man with more traditional values and who treats them well. In other words, you may be fishing in the wrong pond.

Read more in: Love & Dating