DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married nine years and have two major issues in our marriage:
1. He feels I spend too much money.
2. I think he spends too much time away from home doing things he wants to do.
We have fallen into this cycle of him being away from home, so I spend money, which results in him spending more time away from home. Should we have separate bank accounts? Should I make him cancel some of his weekly activities? -- STRUGGLING IN ST. LOUIS
DEAR STRUGGLING: Separate bank accounts might be a good idea, provided you don't use yours to mask the fact that you're spending more than you should. As to "making" your husband cancel some of his weekly activities, I don't think it would work to your benefit.
A better solution/investment would be for the two of you to talk this out in the office of a licensed marriage and family counselor, because it appears you're spending as a way to punish your husband for his absence, which is not only not constructive but destructive. Doing activities outside the home together might also be helpful.