DEAR ABBY: I have encountered an "over-hugger." I have always hugged, but I take care to respect how others feel about it. This person does not extend that courtesy. His typical hug involves picking the recipient up off the ground. It's invasive, in my opinion. The last time I saw him, I offered my hand. Instead of taking it, he yanked me in and said, "We give hugs here!" I know he wants to show affection, but he puts his own needs before the needs of others.
I want to tell him not to hug me anymore. However, it's complicated because we are part of a loose-knit athletic community.
First, is it odd of me not to want his hugs? Second, how do you recommend I send the message that a handshake is the most I want? -- NO BEAR HUGS
DEAR NO BEAR HUGS: Pandemic notwithstanding, in general terms, I agree that what this person is doing is over the top. If he were to yank and lift someone who has back issues, he could harm the person.
My first thought would be to tell this man privately that you don't want him lifting you. If you can't take him aside and do that, then call him or write him a letter.