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by Abigail Van Buren

Boyfriend Issues Ultimatum After His Mother's Suicide

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend's mother died by suicide two weeks ago. The whole family is having a hard time, and they are dealing with things in their own ways. My boyfriend has decided to move us in with his dad and sister because he wants to be near his father. I would prefer to stay living in our house since we only live about three miles away from them.

I do not want to be difficult, but I really don't want to move. He made this decision a few days ago without consulting me. He said to come with him, or we will go our separate ways. His family and I have not always gotten along, and I'm pretty sure that moving in will make it worse. Shouldn't I have any say in this, or must I do what makes him happy? -- IN LIMBO IN OHIO

DEAR IN LIMBO: People in the throes of grief do not always make the wisest decisions. They also are not their best selves in emotionally fraught situations. You should not have been given an ultimatum.

Is this move supposed to be permanent or temporary? Because you are a couple, you should have been consulted before your boyfriend made this decision. Since your relationship with his family hasn't been the best, the transition could be a bumpy one. If you can afford to live independently, it might be a good idea to explore that option for now.

Read more in: Death | Family & Parenting