DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with a man for five years, and we are deeply in love. We want to spend the rest of our lives together, but it bothers me that he wants to go into the military for three to five years. He says he wants me to wait for him, but three to five years seems like a lifetime to me. I can't help but feel like he is prioritizing his desire to serve his country over me and years of our life together. -- CIVILIAN IN THE EAST
DEAR CIVILIAN: It would be interesting to know how old you and your boyfriend are. I assume you are both young and graduating from high school.
This is not necessarily a question of where his priorities lie. While three to five years seems like a large chunk of time, the military may provide your boyfriend with the chance to decide what he wants to do career-wise with his life. It would also provide benefits that could positively affect his future -- and yours -- once his term of service is finished. If you feel unable to wait for him, you should let him go.