Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Husband Carried on an Affair as Wife Cared for His Mother

DEAR ABBY: My husband of 30-plus years cheated on me several years ago with one of his young private students. In our state, she would have been underage, but she was living in an adjacent state with different laws. I had just finished six months of nursing his mom to heaven. She had Alzheimer's, and he did very little to help.

We had one of the few fights in our marriage about his affair, but nothing was ever resolved. I suspect he's still in contact with her, but I can't prove it. He has never apologized for his behavior. Otherwise, he has been a good husband. He is sick himself now, and I don't feel right about leaving him. Any thoughts? -- NOT RIGHT IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR NOT RIGHT: Under the circumstances, you are a nicer woman than he deserves. If you feel you should stay with him until death -- or recovery -- I respect you for it. However, if you are one of those caring individuals who expends so much time and energy that doing it could hurt your own health, I think you're entitled to spend as much time as you need taking care of yourself.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce | Family & Parenting