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by Abigail Van Buren

Man Eager to Make Friends, Tries Too Hard

DEAR ABBY: I am engaged to a wonderful, sweet, hard-working 30-year-old man. We get along well and make each other happy. The trouble is how he comes across to others. He is so eager to be friends that he opens up much too quickly, revealing and venting about things like his work problems. It makes people uncomfortable.

He has been called out on it several times by various people (some even straight-up called him "creepy"), and he will stop for a while. But he falls into the same pattern the next time he meets somebody new. This whole thing is made worse by his anxiety; when someone calls him out on this behavior, he experiences crippling panic attacks. They cause him to apologize profusely, which only exacerbates the problem.

He refuses to seek therapy or treatment for his anxiety. I am at a loss about how to help him, other than listen to his troubles and offer support when I can. What should I do? -- CHALLENGED FIANCEE

DEAR FIANCEE: Your fiance may be a great guy, but unless you want to spend your life with a partner who refuses to get help for his emotional problems and doesn't seem to learn from his mistakes, it may be time to step back and reevaluate this relationship. Much as you would like to, you can't fix what's wrong with him. Only he can do that. If you marry him, the chances are you will wind up as socially isolated as he is. What a shame.

Read more in: Love & Dating | Friends & Neighbors | Mental Health