Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Man Facing Second Divorce Mulls Reunion With First Wife

DEAR ABBY: I was married to a wonderful, beautiful woman when we were much younger. We got married because of an unplanned pregnancy. After some years, we both had grown in different directions, and we divorced. We remained friends even after I remarried.

I'm now in the early stages of my second divorce because I am lonely in a marriage where there's no communication or intimacy. I have tried working things out; my wife isn't interested, so I have given up trying. We no longer have a physical bond, but I refuse to lower myself to cheat to fulfill my needs.

I find myself drawn to my first wife, and I know she feels the same. While I'd like to see how life as a single guy of 55-plus would be, I also want to date my ex. We have a child together, and we have more in common now than before. Can a second time around really work? Or should I first play the field once I am divorced? -- WORKING BACKWARD IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR WORKING BACKWARD: Because you didn't mention whether your first wife also remarried, I will assume that she didn't.

If you wish to date her -- and the feelings are mutual -- there should be nothing stopping you. However, your idea of playing the field before committing again is wise. I have said before, and I'll repeat it for you: If you and your first wife decide to remarry, it would be a good idea to get premarital counseling together to ensure that all the issues that drove you apart the first time have been resolved.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce