DEAR ABBY: My father has always been very careful with money, paying credit cards in full and living within his means. He recently retired with his house paid off and enough savings to maintain a middle-class life for him and my stepmother.
Last month, my sister confided to me that my stepmother, "Lynda," has racked up $100,000 in credit card debt, mostly from online shopping. She hasn't worked for many years due to health reasons, so she has no way to pay the bills on her own. Everyone in the family knows about this and is hiding it from my father.
I feel Dad has a right to know, as interest charges over time will only make the situation worse. If he finds out sooner rather than later, he will be in a better position to pay the debt. If necessary, he could return to work, at least part time.
However, I'm afraid that both my and my father's relationship with my stepmother will be jeopardized if I tell him the truth. He has a history of not being able to control his temper. While it caused marital problems in the past, he currently has a loving relationship with Lynda.
They recently returned from a cruise, and all I could think about was whether they should have been spending money on a vacation. I'm afraid they could eventually lose their house and the means to support themselves if I don't speak up. What should I do? -- NERVOUS IN NEW ENGLAND
DEAR NERVOUS: Rather than aid and abet your father's wife by hiding her (shopping) addiction, your family should have informed your father before the debt reached such large proportions. What you should do is speak up! Let him know you are worried because it doesn't take a crystal ball to see there is serious trouble on the horizon that will only grow worse if something isn't done immediately.