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by Abigail Van Buren

Baby Shower Guest List Raises Questions

DEAR ABBY: A good friend of mine is giving a baby shower next month for her grandson and granddaughter-in-law. She wants to invite many of her longtime friends to the shower, but most of them have little or no history or relationship with her grandson or his wife, and neither one really wants them to be invited. The grandmother, however, thinks it would be rude not to. Your thoughts? -- INVITED IN THE WEST

DEAR INVITED: Someone should remind your good friend that the celebration is not for her, and that showers aren't supposed to be hosted by close relatives but by friends of the honoree. Not only would your friend's contemporaries not be offended if they are not invited, they would probably feel relieved. People of Great-Grandma-To-Be's generation have been through so many showers they aren't likely to have hurt feelings if the younger generation takes over, unless they're very close to the honoree.

Read more in: Holidays & Celebrations | Etiquette & Ethics