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by Abigail Van Buren

Siblings Come Home To Visit, but Not With Family Members

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem I haven't seen in your column before. My husband comes from a large family with siblings spread far and wide. We live in the home state and are happy to accommodate his brothers and sisters (families, dogs) when they come home to visit and ask to stay with us.

While it's never said openly, it quickly becomes clear that the purpose of their visit is to do activities with people other than my husband and me. In the past, we cleared our calendars and expected to entertain and feed these visitors. It becomes awkward when they unexpectedly leave for events with other people -- once a Christmas Eve dinner! Advice? -- AWKWARD IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR AWKWARD: Do not be confrontational, but when plans are being made for the next visit, you and your husband should ask his relatives which days or evenings you should expect to entertain them. That way you won't have needlessly cleared your calendar only to be left standing at the curb.

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