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by Abigail Van Buren

Man Wonders If Larger House Could Signal Bigger Problem

DEAR ABBY: My fiancee, "Diane," and her two sons live in a nice home. I also have a nice home, newly constructed. It's located 1,200 miles away, near my parents, my son and my job. Diane currently has no job nor family within 500 miles of her town. Her boys' father (whom she shares custody with) lives within 50 miles of me. My job and the custody arrangement for my son preclude me from living where Diane does.

Together, she and I would have three sons. The spacious five-bedroom house I own is more than adequate. Diane has made clear that if I sell my home and buy my neighbor's, which is a larger seven-bedroom manor, she will be on the next flight. If not, she won't leave. We could buy the manor with cash if I sell my home and she sold hers and put her savings into the purchase, but she doesn't want to use her savings.

Diane is my everything, but it feels like I may just be chasing a dream. I worry that if I'm not enough, will I be enough when I own a manor? -- IT'S COMPLICATED

DEAR IT'S COMPLICATED: I'm proud of you. You are seeing things clearly, which is unusual when emotions are involved. It appears your dream girl, the fair Diane, is attempting to blackmail you. If she can't be the "lady of the manor," she's not interested in uprooting her life. If you give in to her now, do not do it without an ironclad prenuptial agreement. Please stay strong, because if you don't, you may regret it for a long time.

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