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by Abigail Van Buren

Sister Blabbed About Addiction Kept Quiet

DEAR ABBY: My husband was a drug addict 18 years ago. It was a very hard time for us; he went through rehab and we almost divorced. Fast-forward: He has been doing well, and we still have our problems, but he hasn't used heavy drugs for 17 years. To calm his anxiety, he just has an occasional drink or uses CBD oils.

My sister-in-law told me last weekend that my sister told our son (who was 17 at the time) about my husband's drug issues when he was younger. We always kept my husband's past quiet, feeling that we would have that conversation with our son eventually, when we were ready.

I'm furious that she told him. It should have been our choice, not hers. She has violated my trust. There has been a lot of animosity between my husband and my sister in the past, so I am sure she did it out of spite. I am so upset I am afraid I'll explode and ruin the tenuous relationship I have with her. Also, my husband will probably want to disown her for this betrayal. What do you suggest? -- BETRAYED IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR BETRAYED: If your sister knew you wanted to keep this from your son until he was older, she did betray your trust. Once you have calmed down, talk to her, ask if what you were told is true, and if it is, why she would do such a thing. Once you have all the facts, your husband must be told the cat is out of the bag so the two of you can decide whether you want to continue a relationship with this sister. And because a predisposition toward addiction can run in a family, have that long-overdue talk with your son about it.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce | Family & Parenting | Addiction