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by Abigail Van Buren

Mom Is In No Rush To Meet Boyfriend Involved With Drugs

DEAR ABBY: Five years ago, my daughter, "Angie," and her two children moved in with me after she and her husband separated. I hoped she would get her finances and life together and be able to get a place of her own.

What I didn't realize at the time was that Angie had started a relationship and had fallen in love with a man she met online. Her daughter was very upset about it. Angie was in a custody dispute over her youngest child, and we disagreed more than once about issues concerning the children.

After a couple of years, she moved into her own place. She's still involved with this individual. I haven't met him and have no desire to. She's upset with me because of it. I don't want to see him with her because he has been married several times and is involved with drugs. I realize who Angie is involved with is her business and not mine, but I want nothing to do with him. How can I avoid a rift with her over this? -- SOURED IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR SOURED: No law says you have to meet this person, and it is your privilege to avoid him if you wish. I'm not sure what your daughter expects from you. Does she want you to entertain him? Common sense would dictate that you do not want anyone who is involved with illegal substances in your home. However, I do think you should agree to meet him once.

If Angie's relationship with you is predicated on the idea that you will welcome this individual into your life with open arms because she has, you will then have to figure out how to navigate this. That she would allow someone like him to interact with her children shows very poor judgment.

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