DEAR ABBY: My siblings died a couple of years apart, and my parents treat me like I'm the one who should be gone. They often complain or compare the things I do to something they would have done.
My parents raised me to be independent and take care of myself, but all they do is show me that I don't matter. My niece shares that opinion. She thinks I'm not raising my son right. (Mind you, she's only 20 and doesn't know her behind from her elbow.)
I want to leave, but finances and obligations prohibit me. What can I do to make them see that I'm doing everything I can? -- NOT VALUED IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR NOT VALUED: I am sorry for what you are experiencing. The thing about being compared to a deceased person (or two) is there is a tendency to idealize the dearly departed. That you are being given short shrift for your efforts is sad. I think it's time to speak up and let your feelings be known. As to your niece, the "expert" on child care, tune her out as you would with static on your radio.