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by Abigail Van Buren

Perfect Guy on the Outside Becomes Abusive at Home

DEAR ABBY: I have been with "Dylan" for three years, engaged for two. I have a lot of insecurities about it.

We met right after my husband's death. Dylan was the perfect guy in the beginning. Looking back, I realize there were a lot of red flags.

He spends most of his time on Facebook or talking about his high school years. He is also secretive. He acts like the world's nicest guy around others, but when we're alone, he calls me stupid and insecure. I never knew what a narcissist was before, but I believe he is one.

I built a business, which has done very well. I'm liked by everyone but him. People have told me to run. Why do I torture myself? Last week he broke my windshield because I asked him about his phone, which he is always using to text someone. I want to be happy, and I feel like a loser right now. My kids don't like him at all. Help me, please. -- UNHAPPY IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR UNHAPPY: I am concerned about you. Because you now feel that your verbally abusive fiance could become violent (Exhibit A: your broken windshield), place a call to the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233) and ask someone to help you craft an escape plan. Your next call should be to the police to file a report about that broken windshield. Your third should be to your family to find out if you and your kids can stay with one of your relatives.

It is important you get safely out of there, so do not disclose to this man any of the preparations you are making. It goes without saying that this engagement should be broken.

Read more in: Love & Dating | Death | Abuse