DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I have been together for four years. I love him very much, but there are times when he lectures me, and I get tired of it. Then about an hour later -- maybe sooner -- he will come and say, "I'm sorry." I'm getting frustrated because he's always "sorry." There are times I just roll my eyes and wait. What can I do or say when he comes back to apologize when he always makes it my fault? -- FRUSTRATED IN SOUTH CAROLINA
DEAR FRUSTRATED: What is going on is a red flag, and you should recognize it as such. That your fiance talks down to you, and then says he's sorry but it was your fault, isn't an apology. It's a lame excuse for his bad (verbally abusive) behavior. Please carefully examine what is really going on in your relationship before it begins to affect your self-esteem, and possibly rethink this engagement.