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by Abigail Van Buren

Stepdad's Family Leaves Daughter Out of Family Gift-Giving

DEAR ABBY: I married a man 24 years ago. At the time, I had a daughter who was 6. My new husband welcomed her, and she considers him to be her father. His parents, however, never considered her as their own. They took several family trips with all their grandkids but excluded my daughter.

Fast-forward to today: My daughter lives in another state. These nieces and nephews all have kids, as does my daughter. Every birthday and Christmas, I buy said nieces' and nephews' kids presents, but I assume because my daughter lives in a different state, no one buys her kids anything. Is it wrong that this upsets me? Should I continue buying gifts for all those kids when my daughter's kids are being left out? -- LEFT OUT IN ILLINOIS

DEAR LEFT OUT: You are not wrong. Considering the circumstances, you have been more than generous. Because your nieces and nephews are adults now, send them cards for the holidays. The same is true for their children. And if you are asked why, tell them the truth -- that gift-giving is supposed to be an exchange, and your daughter was seriously shortchanged.

Read more in: Family & Parenting | Etiquette & Ethics | Holidays & Celebrations