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by Abigail Van Buren

Acrimony of Parents' Divorce Clouds Wedding Plans

DEAR ABBY: My parents divorced 10 years ago, when I was a freshman in college. My mom didn't want the divorce. My dad initiated it, but they fought constantly when they were together. Not long afterward, Dad started a relationship with a co-worker, his current wife, whom my mom believes was the reason he left her.

I am being married at the end of the year, and I know Mom won't be able to keep her emotions in check if Dad's wife attends. My parents can keep it amicable if it's just them, but I can't see a way to exclude Dad's wife without upsetting him. What's the less-painful option -- my mom getting upset or my dad getting upset? -- WANTS FAMILY HARMONY

DEAR WANTS: Talk to your mother. Explain that you want your wedding to be inclusive, and you don't want this special day to be spoiled. If she feels she won't be able to control her anger, she shouldn't attend. To invite your father and not his wife will be regarded as an insult, and he would likely refuse to be a part of it.

Read more in: Family & Parenting | Marriage & Divorce | Holidays & Celebrations