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by Abigail Van Buren

After Mediterranean Honeymoon, Man Refuses To Live With Wife

DEAR ABBY: I'm not sure if anyone else has this problem. My husband is constantly grabbing me, either my breasts or my crotch. It's day and night. We have been married almost 40 years, and I am sick of it.

If I say something, he says, "Oh, I bet the guys you work with would love to be touching you!" Not once have my co-workers ever implied such a thing. I just don't understand! Any suggestions on how I can make him understand I hate this? -- GROPED OUT WEST

DEAR GROPED: Your husband may consider what he's doing as foreplay or regard you not as a person but his property. Touching someone in this manner without consent could be considered sexual abuse. His comment about your male co-workers may be a back-handed compliment, but why you are sick of hearing it is understandable.

If he doesn't understand after 40 years that you dislike what he's doing, it's because he doesn't want to, and your feelings are unimportant to him. A marriage counselor may be able to help you get through to him. If he won't go, go without him.