DEAR ABBY: I am older and on a fixed income. At times I still date, and I'm not sure how to handle this. After one or two dinners out or glasses of wine, etc., I feel my dates are waiting for me to treat them, and I can't afford it. I don't know how to explain that I don't have enough money to do that.
I'm a very giving person, and I would love to make them dinner if I knew them better. One time I brought someone a huge amount of beautiful organic vegetables, but that wasn't enough. He was really upset I didn't buy him wine on one of the dates. What to do? -- REALLY WISH I COULD
DEAR REALLY WISH: The person who was really upset that you didn't buy him wine on one of those dates should have been told that you are on a fixed income and it wasn't within your budget. You should also have told him you were reciprocating within your ability. If he needed a drink that badly, he could have paid for his own. You're lucky to be rid of him.
In the future, TELL the man you are seeing that after you know him better, you would love to treat him to some home-cooked meals, which might actually be nicer than what you can afford to buy him in a restaurant. He might appreciate both your candor and the food. If he doesn't, I think you will be lucky to be rid of him, too.
P.S. Have you considered paying the tab for a casual breakfast, lunch or a coffee/pastry date instead of dinner?