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by Abigail Van Buren

Husband Doesn't Give His Lost Wedding Ring a Second Thought

DEAR ABBY: My husband (my second, and I am his third wife) and I just returned from a fantastic trip throughout Asia. While removing a piece of luggage from the conveyor belt at JFK Airport, my husband's wedding ring flew off his finger. He glanced at and around the belt for about 12 seconds, shrugged his shoulders, turned and headed for the exit. I, and many of our fellow travelers, continued to look for it.

I called out to him as he was walking away and said that we should probably notify someone and give them our information if it was found. His response was, "Not worth it" and a simple head shake, leaving most of us with dropped jaws.

We celebrated our third wedding anniversary on that trip. We have been together for 14 years, and during that time, he proposed in several very romantic and loving ways. We had a delightful relationship up to the point of his losing the ring, but I realize now I was the only one who took the symbolism of our wedding rings seriously.

I am hurt, disappointed and embarrassed by his actions. He says I'm overreacting and that he didn't want to wear one anyway. (I never asked or expected him to get one. He got it only because he had "cashed in" his former spouse's engagement and wedding ring set that she had left behind in a drawer.) What is your take on this matter? -- DEEPER MEANING IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR DEEPER MEANING: I do find it unusual that your husband made such a feeble attempt to find the ring. However, my take on this is you should -- if you are smart -- thank your higher power for the wonderful relationship you have shared with this man the last 14 years (married for three) and not ruin what you have by blowing this out of proportion. What you have with him is more precious than any tangible item -- the lost wedding band in particular. If he prefers not to replace it, let it go.