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by Abigail Van Buren

Man Brings Wife to Lunch When It's His Friend's Turn to Pay

DEAR ABBY: A friend of mine is a very nice person. He and his wife live in Pennsylvania. I live in New Jersey. He comes here, and I go there to where he lives.

Every time it's his turn to pay, he comes to lunch alone. Every time it is my turn, he brings along his wife. I don't feel right about it. He does offer extra money, which I'm really not comfortable accepting.

When it's his turn, he pays $25, but when it is mine, the tab is usually $40 to $50 because there's an extra person involved. Sometimes he takes care of the tip. Should I tell him I have things to do and can't go to lunch? -- UNSURE UP NORTH

DEAR UNSURE: Because you enjoy his company, tell him that although you like his wife, you would feel more comfortable if when you have lunch together it's "just us guys." Either that, or suggest that from now on you each request separate checks.

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