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by Abigail Van Buren

Gifts Have Yet to Be Returned a Year After Wedding Was Canceled

DEAR ABBY: Our grandniece was supposed to be married in April 2018, but a week before the wedding she caught her fiance cheating, and the wedding was called off. We live 1,000 miles away, so several weeks before the wedding, we went online to their gift registry and had a gift valued at more than $250 shipped directly to them. The mother of the bride confirmed when the gift was received.

After the wedding date passed, we thought we would receive reimbursement or be asked if we wanted the gift returned. It has been a little over a year now and not one word has been mentioned about returning any gifts. Other family members are in the same situation as we are.

Isn't it proper to return gifts if the wedding is called off? If it was an inexpensive, small gift we wouldn't feel so bad. Are we wrong to be hurt and a bit shocked? -- FEELING SNUBBED

DEAR SNUBBED: No, you are not wrong. I assume you never received a thank-you for your generosity either.

Wedding gifts are not to be considered consolation prizes. The rule of etiquette is, if there has been no wedding and the wedding gift has not been used, it should be returned to the sender.

Read more in: Holidays & Celebrations | Family & Parenting | Money | Etiquette & Ethics