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by Abigail Van Buren

When Wife Feels Playful, Husband Demurs

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for three years. I'm not someone who initiates sex, but once in a blue moon I get the urge. Unfortunately, every time I do, my husband refuses and makes excuses. This year I tried twice, and after the last rejection, I exploded from anger.

I am so insulted! I never refuse him, even if I don't feel like it, because I want to please him. When I told him how he made me feel, he apologized. He said he didn't mean to hurt my feelings, but I feel awful. Now I no longer feel any sexual urges at all, and I'm no longer attracted to my husband.

What must I do? I can't simply forget the feelings. -- INSULTED WIFE

DEAR INSULTED: Because your husband is usually the one who initiates sex, it's possible that this is the way he prefers it. That said, however, this issue could end your marriage if it isn't dealt with. You and your husband should ask your physician for a referral to a licensed psychotherapist who can help both of you get to the core of this issue. Do not let this fester. Do it now.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce | Sex & Gender