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by Abigail Van Buren

Constant Talk About Losing Weight Has Unhealthy Effect

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend I connect with on many different levels. It's amazing. But he's already in a relationship. He tells me he loves me and doesn't ever want to lose me, but he never talks about leaving her. He says things will naturally work themselves out.

Although he says he isn't trying to have his cake and eat it too, that is exactly how it feels at times. I'm confused about what to do. My heart and my head are at odds. Please give me some advice that will help me settle my inner self. -- CONFUSED GIRL IN LOVE

DEAR CONFUSED GIRL: As it stands, your friend has two women, and you have half a man. He may love you, but if he was IN love with you, he would end the relationship with his girlfriend. He never talks about leaving her because he doesn't intend to rock the boat.

I know the idea of breaking things off is painful, but while you have romantic feelings for this person, you won't be free to find anybody else. You deserve someone who is willing to make the same kind of commitment to you that you are willing to make to him. Repeat that to yourself daily until he's out of your system.