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by Abigail Van Buren

Wife Discovers Man Has Been Secretly Recording Arguments

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 10 years and have two children. One of them is a toddler.

I recently found out that my husband has been recording me with his phone at various times without my consent when we have heated arguments. He claims he does it to protect himself in the event that I try to have him arrested.

Abby, there is no abuse in our marriage, and I have never threatened to call the police on him. I'm hurt and paranoid now. I don't even want to be in my own home. He claims to have deleted the files, but I don't trust him. Any advice would be helpful. -- HURT IN THE SOUTH

DEAR HURT: If I ever heard of a couple needing marriage counseling, it is you two. The recording won't show what started the argument or what came after it, both of which are important. Please ask your doctor or health care provider for a referral to a licensed marital and family therapist. Go alone if your husband won't go with you.

It appears your husband is playing mind games with you. And I'm also concerned about how this volatility is affecting your children. If something isn't done about it, it will destroy your marriage.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce